undefinedlabelessstrangechick's Blog

Hi everyone i'm back,i'm 15 and i'm writing this on my first laptop. i'm still with jesse the boy of my dreams our 4 month aniversary is on july 8th. we both want to be with each other for ever and we are already planning our jobs and lives around eachother. he wants to be in the army rangers,i think... i want to be a jeweler and part time author/writer. i'm already going into a mini-apprenticeship for jewelling in late july early august. my life is going pretty well the 27th was my 15th birthday and i passed all my classes with a "B " or higher next year i'll be a 10th year,softie,sophmore,whatever. i've missed a lot of my friends on here and i'm sorry i was away for so long but my home computer broke down,now all it's good for is charging my newly aquired Mp3. but i'm lucky i got this one. She is awesome i've named her Imogene (i love that name). and i'm very happy with her. 3 USB ports a webcam and built in microphone,perfect size screen cd-rom and dvd-rom drives. Imogene is awesome, she's a black Compaq. anyway if u wanna talk send me a message the psyhco chick is back and ready to listen. 

i am currently in the process of dying my hair pinkish/purple,i'm putting pink over some of the blue

my bangs are now light blue cause the blue faded but i think it'll look relly cool when it's s done

i just put blue in my entire head of hair except for my bangs,lol

in some places it's dark or light cobat blue in others it's black and dark grey,lol

i just bleached out most of my hair

there are bits of light pink and orangey red every where a bit of purple aome brown underneath but mostly white and blonde,lols

To Whom it may concern:I'm Sorry

sorry for everything,for my words,my poems,my existence.

I'm thinking of ending all of it.

my frowns,my tears,my endless days, because i know some people would be better off without me,those who hate me,or those who are bothered by me. i like to make life easier for others,and maybe my wasting space would help.

one less student in all my classes

one less girl in the lunch room

one less weirdo for people to gawk at

I'm tired of the names and the tears

and the cut's on my ankles are the only thing i can feel right now.

so if this is the last thing i ever write...

Goodbye,and i wish you well...but if  i choose to stay alive,I'll see you tomorrow.

Signed The weirdo in the Corner AKA Megan

It is indeed a mad world and sometimes i can't take it

and today i couldn't.

i started randomly looking up words i typed in "mad world'".

 i didn't know what i would find i found this song and along with it,ironically, some of my sanity .                                                                                     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHjdTZ-myCU

give it a listen you might find some of your lost sanity too.

tomorrow i will have to get my dog Eddie put down. he is my hound and my friend and i will miss him dearly.

could you please analyze my dreams

cause it seems the screams i hear are real

and i can feel every gash in my arm

and the thrill of self harm

but no need for alarm it's all a dream, it seems

the blood drips down my arm

this torture isn't harm

it's self entertainment

the taste of blood again

my power grows within

and i won't contain it

red stains my hands and feet

as it flows from me

the steady stream coming from my wrists

then i wake with clenched fists and the smell is in the

air, the blood is everywhere

the blood drips down my arm

this torture isn't harm

it's self entertainment

the taste of blood again

my power grows within

and i won't contain it

and one last verse from me is all you'll ever see

it's the only thing left of my sanity

the cuts i made outside

were a self-override

signs of this thing inside me

i thought it was a dream

that's how it always seems

but those screams were from me-------.

i just started having a little "meg the morbid" moment and i started thinking about death and then i stupidly looked up a girl's obituary.

a girl who died this past summer,who was once one of my closest friends

we hadn't been particularly close in the last few months of her life but i still saw her as an amazing person.

she died on Sunday August 23, 2009, 7:36 A.M.

along with both her parents,her little sister was the only survivor,

i don't know why but i have been constantly thinking of her and crying my eyes out

i miss having that person in my life

now there is a space i don't pass by her in the hall or hear my friends talk about her or hear her laugh i hate that i wasn't closer to her when she died

she was a good friend and now here i am at 4:30 in the morning crying because death is unfair when one's life has not been lived

i haven't got a bf though i want one terribly,lol

i have a few wonderful friends (you know who you are)

and i just i feel alone as far as love goes,i want to grow up and fall in love or preferably fall in love with a wonderful person asap and not have to worry about getting my heart ripped out again

i think i'm falling fast and hard for my friend. she's sweet and funny,she writes awesome poetry nd gives great hugs. she understands my problems and some of my worst odd tendencies and feelings,i'm really crushing on here.